First of all, while the blog is mostly light hearted, I
feel "other adventures" can also include life changing events and
more serious topics. So with that I
bring you this entry...
If you've read my blog in the past you know about
"The Bitches" and how much fun we have together on a regular
basis. You also know that C has been
courageously battling breast cancer for the past few years. We have lived it up
since her diagnosis and often times I'd forget she was even sick. Unfortunately, the battle was too much for
her to fight and that ugly, mean, nasty cancer took her from all of us in early
July.
Yea.
It
happened.
The dreaded outcome none of us
wanted. I wanted her to be exception. I
just knew she'd beat those statistics. This cancer fight for the most part was
totally different from what I expected. C was amazing taking constant chemo
treatments, handling the side effects the best she could, all while still being a part of "normal"
life. We still traveled. We still had dance parties. We still had fun. Damn you cancer.
I'm really not sure what I'm trying to express here. This loss is hard. It's probably the hardest
loss I've ever experienced. It flat out sucks. It's been 2 months and I still
cry when I think of her. People say it's ok to be mad. I'm not mad at all. I
fully believe God has a plan for each of us and her story was written from the
day she was born. My faith has gotten me through this because without faith I'm
not sure I could begin to process it all.
I try to remember how lucky we all were to have Casey in
our lives and how we had almost 3 years after her diagnosis. Not to mention of
that time, she wasn't brutally sick but maybe 1/4 of the time. I have no idea how she did it but in many
ways she made cancer look "easy" in a sense. I've learned so much
from her. While I'm a positive person, she taught me how to further focus on
the positive and look for the silver linings in life. She taught me to not pass
up an opportunity for fun. All that other stuff can wait but if a dance party
starts, join in. It doesn't matter if you can't dance, the point is about being
free and living life. Who cares what other people may think! Life is too short
to take yourself so seriously.
I will forever cherish my memories made with Casey. I
often think of her smile and laugh. She's the one who inspired me to start this blog. I loved that girl like my sister and miss
that I can't just send her a text or call her when I want. But I know she's here with me and watching
over all of us. I look forward to one day when these tears will be ones of joy
because I had her in my life and not sadness because I miss her so much.
Until then, hug those you love, let them know how you
feel, and pray for Casey's family and friends as they continue to heal from
this loss.
